


Reasons Not to Kidnap Adrien Agreste

by Lhappyface



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Fluff, Badass Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Badass Chloé Bourgeois, Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, Kidnapping, POV Outsider, Post-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, give marinette a chainsaw 2k20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27622526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lhappyface/pseuds/Lhappyface
Summary: When Tony agreed to his old college roommate's plan of kidnapping Adrien Agreste, he expected a scared, shy model.  He didn't expect the kid to be capable of putting up a fight, and he certainly didn't expect the petite Chinese Girl with a disproportionate amount of rage
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Alya Césaire, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Chloé Bourgeois, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Plagg, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Chloé Bourgeois & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 39
Kudos: 687
Collections: Miraculous Stories





	Reasons Not to Kidnap Adrien Agreste

Tony wasn’t going to lie, when he looked upon the sleeping form of Adrien Agreste, he felt a little guilty. Which wasn’t wholly surprising considering this whole ‘kidnap the rich kid for ransom’ plan left him feeling somewhat sick.

_ It’s fine, Tony,  _ he rationalized.  _ You aren’t going to hurt the kid. You might have to threaten to, but he’s never going to be in any actual danger. You just need to get the money, and then you can go live the rest of your life in Bora Bora or something. _

Tony watched carefully as Adrien began to wake up. He made sure to keep his hands steady on his gun. He wasn’t going to point it at the kid, and the safety was on, but Brock had insisted that he ‘maintain dominance’ or whatever.

_ Brock’s an idiot,  _ his brain pointed out unhelpfully.  _ This is a terrible idea, you should just give the kid back.  _

_ No way,  _ the other half of his mind retorted.  _ The money will be helpful, and it’s already too late. _

He was pulled from his internal monologue as he heard Adrien let out a groan and tilted his head back slightly. He shifted, and Tony could see the moment he realized he wasn’t in his room. 

It was almost terrifying how quickly he reacted. His breathing went under control so precisely that if Tony hadn’t seen him wake up, he would’ve thought the kid was still asleep. He shifted slightly in the bonds before pausing for a moment. 

After a beat or two, he opened his eyes slowly, as though he was waking up peacefully. Tony watched silently as his eyes flitted across the room as though they were scanning. 

Even though the kid was thoroughly restrained - and Tony had done those knots, he knew there was no way Adrien was getting out - a sliver of unease crept up his spine.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “But I will if I have to.”

Adrien’s green eyes locked onto him as soon as he started to talk, scanning him up and down. He locked onto the gun for a moment before continuing his scan. It was unsettling how quickly he responded in life-threatening situations, but Tony figured that with the kind of money his dad had, it probably wasn’t his first time being taken for ransom.

All of this was surprising, but not unexpected. 

What was unexpected, however, were the next words out of his mouth. Instead of a scared plea for his life, or a promise that this would go badly, that his dad would get revenge, the first thing Adrien Agreste said was “What, no good morning?”

Tony blinked in surprise. Adrien strained against the bonds once more, actively trying to get out of them this time.

“You aren’t going to be able to get out of those, trust me,” Tony said. Even though he knew that, he couldn’t help but grip his firearm tighter.

Adrien struggled for a moment longer before seemingly giving up and repositioning himself so that he would be comfortable.

After a short pause, Adrien looked up at Tony expectantly. Tony was confused for a moment before realizing that the boy probably expected him to explain why he was here.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “You’re not here for anything weird or gross. Your daddy’s gonna pay for getting you back, and then we’ll never meet again.”

He doesn’t really know  _ why  _ he feels the need to justify himself to the teenage kidnapping victim, but he does and he can’t make himself regret it. No matter how many times Brock went over the plan and the fact that no one was going to hurt this kid, he still felt guilt fester inside of him.

_ Poor guy is gonna need so much therapy.  _

“Sooooo,” Adrien said, interjecting his internal monologue. “What’s the plan? I’m curious.”

“...You’re curious.” 

“Yup!” Adrien said, flashing him a small smile. Tony couldn’t for the life of him understand what had the kid so calm and genial in the face of his captors, but he supposed it was preferable to crying. He was pretty sure that if Adrien started crying, Tony would immediately feel like shit.

“Curiosity killed the cat, you know.”

Adrien’s eyes lit up with amusement as though Tony had said something amazingly funny before responding, “But satisfaction brought it back.”

Tony couldn’t argue with that. “Well, once your dad is called and you talk to him, we’re going to sit and wait for the money. Then you go home, and I go far away.” 

Adrien hummed in response. “So, I think I get it.” He turned his head up and locked eyes with Tony. “Basically,” Adrien continued. “You’re an idiot.”

_ What. _

“I mean, don’t get me wrong,” Adrien said. “I already knew you were already a few cards short of a full deck-”

“Excuse me?”

“-because after all, this is kind of a terrible kidnapping plan. This isn’t even a very secure location. We’re in, what? A cabin in the woods? _. _ Seriously? This is cliché, man. You can do better.”

_ What. _

“Look, I don’t know what you’re playing at, but-”

“What did you think would happen?” Adrien interrupted. “This isn’t the first time someone has tried to kidnap me. I’ve been going to public school for  _ years,  _ did you think you were original?” 

Adrien’s tone was light and cheerful, but Tony felt cold. 

“What do you think happened all those other times?” Adrien asked, green eyes wide and innocent, obviously fake. “Do you think my dad paid that ransom?”

Adrien leaned forward, as far as he could in the restraints and stage-whispered conspiratorially. “Or, do you think that he threatened my security guard that I needed to be brought home, no matter what? Do you think that my dad, with his riches and power and fame, let the kidnappers get their punishments through due process of law?”

Something almost like concern flooded into his eyes as he looked over to the door and said sincerely. “You seem nice, I hope they get you to the hospital in time.”

Heart beating in his throat, Tony spun around, gun at the ready, when he felt his weight shift. The world spun and he absently noted his gun being wrenched out of his hands. The first thing he registered was a fist colliding with his cheek and his back being slammed against a wall. The second thing he registered was Adrien Agreste (who was apparently way stronger than he looked?) up against him, pinning him against the wall and holding him at gunpoint with  _ his own gun. _

He wasn’t holding it properly at all, and honestly it was a good thing that the safety was on, but Tony was getting whiplash from the switch between the funny, cheerful teenager to whatever was happening now. 

_ Maybe he’s having a psychotic break? _

Tony refocused just in time to hear the possibly crazy teenager mutter “And she always says that she’s the one who’s good at making plans in the relationship.”

Tony didn’t have time to wonder who ‘she’ was when Adrien refocused on him, looking almost apologetic.

“I really am sorry,” he said with a sheepish smile. “You do seem nice, but this was never going to work out. It didn’t work out for those other guys either.”

Tony snuck a glance over at where Adrien had been previously restrained and saw that the ropes were broken _ ,  _ as though something tiny had  _ bitten through them. _

Tony took a moment but as soon as he found his voice he said “Well then what the hell happened to them? Did you bite through their ropes and then attack them too?”

Tony was pretty sure he saw a flash of surprise on Adrien’s face when he mentioned the restraints, but it instantly went away in place of a friendly smile. 

“Actually, one of them let me go as soon as they realized my dad wasn’t going to pay the ransom.”

Tony didn’t have time to think about that, when he remembered two things. One, he had a partner in all this. Two, said partner was in the connected room with a shotgun, and would definitely have heard the commotion.

And thank god, Tony was right. Because as soon as he thought it, Brock came bursting through the door, weapon pointed directly at Adrien.

“Put it down,” Brock ordered, as full of self-importance and smugness as usual. 

Adrien was very obviously shocked, but he wasted no time putting the gun on the floor and moving back to give Tony some room.

Brock was still pointing his shotgun at the kid, and Tony tried to get his breathing under control. He didn’t expect the teenage model to be straight up terrifying, and apparently a  _ ninja _ , but it was fine now. They were going to get him back in the ropes and collect their ransom and disappear. 

Adrien looked shocked and worried for a split second before schooling his face into something calm and unbothered. Brock clearly noticed it too, if the smile on his face was any indication. 

“Nice try, kid,” Brock told him with a smirk. “But you aren’t going anywhere.” 

Adrien’s face stayed impassive for one moment before his head twitched like a cat who had heard something and he burst into a smile. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said, too friendly for someone with a gun pointed at him. He sounded less like a victim of a crime and more like someone meeting a new acquaintance at a party.

Brock’s eyebrow lifted but he responded with a cool and collected “Call me Brady.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Brady! I’m Adrien.” The kid’s smile got even wider and Tony could swear the room got colder.

Adrien’s head moved ever so slightly as he said “And that’s Marinette.”

Tony didn’t have time to be confused because next thing he knew, the door opened with a violent bang. Brock turned his head. Tony spun around as best as he could.

Both of them looked in shock, because in that doorway, flanked on either side by a dark skinned girl recording with her phone and a tall boy blasting music from a boombox, was a petite, asian girl who wouldn’t have looked out of place in a rom-com if it weren’t for the fact that she was  _ holding a chainsaw. _

“PUT THE GUN DOWN!” she yelled and Tony finally understood what people were talking about when they said ‘heaven hath known no fury like a woman scorned’.

“Who are  _ you _ ?” Brock screeched, alarmed. The tiny asian girl - Marinette apparently - responded by simply revving the chainsaw.

It was Adrien who responded, affection oozing out of his voice as he went “That’s my girlfriend.” The two of them locked eyes and smiled and Tony felt like he was inside of a goddamn Hallmark movie.

Internally, Tony was 100% sure by this point that this Adrien Agreste kid was absolutely insane, like asylum level batshit, considering he was looking at Marinette like she had hung the moon in the sky, not at all alarmed that she was  _ holding a chainsaw. _

She turned her gaze onto Brock, and gone were the soft, gooey heart-eyes she had looked at her boyfriend with. In their place was the kind of glare that gave Tony the shivers and she wasn’t even looking at him.

Brock put his gun down.

The moment he did, the teenagers came inside and picked the weapons up. Marinette put down her chainsaw and ran straight to Adrien, while the other 2 teens shoved Brock and Tony onto their knees with their hands up. 

“Adrien!” Marinette cried, gathering the model up in a hug. “I was so worried! Are you okay?”

He smiled and melted into her embrace. “I’m okay, Mari,” he said, voice soft and quiet. “I knew you would come.”

He looked up at the other 2 teens. “I didn’t expect Alya and Nino though.”

The boy - Nino, Tony guesses - smiles and turns off his music. “Hey, man, you can’t have a badass rescue without some badass music.”

The other one - Alya - shakes her phone and says “And I’m here for video evidence that we can show everyone in class.”

“The police are on their way,” Marinette said, still scanning her boyfriend for injuries. “They can get these guys and go.”

“This is trespassing!” Brock snarled. He had never been one to know when he was defeated. “You’ve committed just as many crimes as I have!”

The girl with a phone opened her mouth to respond but before she could, a shrill, angry voice rang out from outside.

“How dare you!”

Nino smiled. “That would be the cavalry.”

And just to add even more insane things to his day, the next thing Tony sees is an impossibly angry blonde girl storm in, looking like she’s about to bite off Brock’s head.

“YOU KIDNAPPED ADRIEN! My father will make your life  _ hell,  _ understand?” she seethes before leaning in closer. “My daddy is the MAYOR OF PARIS and people like you shouldn’t even be in the same COUNTRY as me! I had to come all this way and  _ get dirt on my shoes  _ just for you to say that we did something wrong too? Absolutely not! My daddy will show you why you shouldn’t mess with a Bourgeois!”

Tony hears sirens as the police pull in. Adrien’s smile dims. “I kinda don’t wanna talk to the police right now,” he says quietly. 

“Then you won’t,” the blonde declares. “If they have any problems with it, then they can talk to my daddy. We’re going to the Dupain-Cheng bakery.” 

She turns and begins to walk out as Marinette says “What?”

The blonde one turns again, exasperation evident on her face. “I SAID we’re going to the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Keep up.” 

With that, she walks out, dragging Alya and Nino behind her. Brock has wisely shut up, and Tony notices that it’s only the 4 of them in the cabin.

Marinette pulls Adrien closer and for a moment, Tony could swear he saw something black move in the boy’s shirt pocket before they kiss.

“You ready to go,” she asks once they’ve pulled apart. He smiles and runs a hand through her hair. 

“After you, m’lady.”

**Author's Note:**

> later at school:  
> Chloe: so anyway marinette fought off a guy with a shotgun using nothing but anger. now onto important things like my stellar contribution  
> Everyone: ?????
> 
> thanks for reading!! :)


End file.
